My next topic I want to share with you all is my struggle and journey to lifting. I have done so many crazy programs and tried so many crazy workouts. Usually none of them stick for one reason or another… later I learned the main reason was boredom. It was drilled in my head that cardio loses weight, run run run! Well, I do enjoy taking a run but good lord… I would go to the gym and claim my treadmill never leaving it’s side. I’d run and run while wondering why I was still heavy and the scale wasn’t moving.
I am a really healthy eater and food is not currently my problem and hasn’t been for several years now, so how was this happening? I was doing everything right! …or so I thought. Even when I started personal training there was still a lot of cardio. But this introduced me to… dare I say it… weights! Little by little I built up strength and kept grabbing for heavier weights and challenging myself. My train or even introduced me to an Olympic bar (which is now my mistress). The next challenge, and for me a turning point, came when I was tired of 20 lb dumbbells and a 45 lb Olympic bar. I was at a road block preventing me from further growth. This place couldn’t help me anymore and I yearned to see where I could be. I joined a different gym following my current trainer who knew my goals and wanted to see me grow.
This place had it all, except for the camaraderie and welcoming atmosphere. Sorry if being greeted by beefy dudes grunting in the arm section doing curls is not my cup of tea each day. I also had the same vibe that kept me out of big gyms most of my life… they are watching me and judging. Honestly they probably didn’t even notice me but hey that’s where my mind goes. Anyway, here I was able to grow even further and the possibilities were endless. I thought this was as good as it gets until I found my current gym. Ah Monsters and Machines… where have you been all of my life. Now here is where I really started to blossom! This place became my second home and my family. That is what a gym is supposed to feel like. This place has me addicted to power lifting, and strength training. This time last year I was pretty jacked and looking mighty fine if you asked me!!!
But in the back of my mind I knew this was about to change and some heavy demons came back in my head. I was pregnant with my first baby, not yet knowing it was a little girl. I knew my body was about to face it’s toughest challenge. I kept lifting until I was about 6 months pregnant when I was told to stop because of my blood pressure. So from December until mid May I was out of commission. I was ready to hit the ground running, and I did. But I realized my life can’t be like that anymore. I now have this beautiful baby girl depending on me, an incredible husband supporting me, and about a thousand things to do each day.
I am finally finding my groove and getting back to lifting, and it feels great!
Anyone have any similar experiences? How did you bounce back? How did you cope with your mental demons?
Stay tuned for my next entry on body positivity and my goals for myself while trying to raise a daughter to love herself the way she is!